To my first girl crush

I first formally met you in 8th grade; we competed against each other's team in a basketball game. I didn't even know how to play that sport; I was just there cause one of my teammates was injured.

Good god, you were so fucking beautiful. Amazing brunette hair with the perfect length, kind face, and legitimately a brilliant and caring individual. You were famous, athletic, and had a smile that could light up any room, and I was nothing like you. I usually find people in that position to be very mean and bratty, but I do honestly believe to this day that you were an exception cause you were always incredibly thoughtful and warm.

I'm not sure when I started liking you, but it was probably when we were getting to the end of 10th grade; I used to find you so pretty and attractive. You were one of the kindest people I knew back then, and even if we didn't have much in common, I'm so glad that we at least shared our interest in books; as much as I knew you were into fiction and used to read books from Paul Coelho constantly. You used to carry a book with you everywhere you went and sit on the last bench of your class, carefully annotating everything you found interesting.

Initially, we only spoke when it was necessary, but gradually I tried making conversation with you anytime I could. You were one of the few people I was out to at that point, and you made me feel comfortable about being myself. You were dating someone throughout grade 10, and the funny thing is I was really good friends with him too, and not one bit of your relationship made me feel jealous cause I knew he was the yellow you were searching for so long, and I never wanted that to end, cause you were so happy with him. Thus I never told you how I felt, also cause somewhere within me; I always knew I couldn't love you as much as he did.

We are no longer in touch now, cause after school we just drifted apart. You seem to be moving forward in another direction with your life, where you are pursuing your passion, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing, but I have nothing but the best wishes for you. I always liked you and forever will. And I hope you take good care of the book I gifted you. 

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